The Blame Game
by TVObssessedGirl28
Summary: Summary: Based on the clip from next week's episode 'Buried Alive'. Ethan does what he only knows to do when he faced with stress. He shuts down and pushes people away. Pushes the people who care about him .
1. Chapter 1

It was as if a knife had cut through his heart. And the pain he was feeling was the blood pouring out. His brother, his little brother had said he wished it was him. Wished he was the one who had inherited the disease. Of course, Cal didn't blame him. He blamed him. If he could take away his brother's suffering he would do it in the heartbeat. But, as it was under the circumstances there was nothing he could do. All he could do was stand and watch as his brother pushed him away. Cal wanted to help, but Ethan wouldn't let him. As soon as the words left Ethan's mouth Cal had done what he'd always done when faced with a tough decision. He ran. He wanted to run as far as away he could but, only managed as far as Jeff's memorial bench. Having reached the bench he collapsed down on it and let the tears roll down his cheeks. Even though in his heart he knew Ethan didn't mean what he said it was still painful to know his brother felt like the only way to cope with his situation was to shut those who cared about him out. To shut him out. Despite him constantly teasing Ethan, Cal loved him and his brotherly instincts told him not to run away this time. His brother needed him even if he was pushing him away. Ethan needed Cal to be the big brother he was. He needed to be the big brother Ethan deserved. Wiping away his tears, Cal felt a presence beside him. He didn't need to look up to know who it was. Ever since Cal had found out about the adoption, the loss of little Matilda and the subsequent discovery of his birth mother resulting in the revelation of Huntington's Charlie had been a constant rock. He had 'adopted' the role of a fatherly figure and he and Charlie had developed a bond that Cal never shared with his adoptive dad. He was grateful Charlie had been there to offer his sound advice and at that moment in time he was glad for the company.

"He's got it, hasn't he?" Charlie announced suddenly. "Ethan's inherited the gene."

When Cal didn't give him an answer, Charlie knew he had guessed correctly. When Charlie had been informed of Emilie's death he understood the shock would have hit them both hard, but Ethan's behaviour had been different. And it had been even before Ethan discovered the truth about his adoption. Charlie knew there must have been something else that was troubling Ethan. Knowing that Ethan had inherited Huntington's truly shocked Charlie.

"I'm really sorry, Cal. But, you know we're all here for you."

Cal only nodded.

"Ethan's going to need you."

"I know."

There was silence before Cal spoke again.

"But, what if I can't."

"What do you mean?"

"What if I can't be there for him?"

"You'll be there for him. You haven't given up on him yet."

"I know I haven't given up on him yet, but that's what I do. That's what I've always done. I run because that's what's in me." Cal told Charlie truthfully.

"Cal," Charlie began to say. "You're stronger than you think you are. You'll be there for your brother because the bond between you is one that can't be broken. Your love for each other is constant and it will help you to do what's right."

Cal looked towards Charlie. His words were as wise as ever.

"Thanks, Charlie." Cal smiled.


	2. Chapter 2

Having had wise words from Charlie as usual Cal stepped back through the doors of the ED and went in search for Ethan. He didn't expect to find him still sat in the staff room after his conversation with Lily but, he did.

"I, um heard what you said."

Ethan jumped when he heard Cal's voice behind him. Hastily placing his glasses back on Ethan turned around.

"Good." Ethan answered coldly.

"Look, Eth. I know you didn't mean what you said." Cal began as he stepped forward.

"Well, you've got it all wrong then."

Cal stared at his brother.

"What are you saying?"

"I mean what I said, Cal."

"No, you didn't."

Cal expected Ethan to answer back, but he didn't.

"I know you blame me. I understand that but, what I don't get is why are you shutting me out? I'm all you've got." Cal told Ethan.

Ethan scoffed.

"Don't you dare make this all about you. You're not the one living with the constant fear of not knowing when the symptoms are going to start to appear."

"That's not what I meant, Ethan and you know it." Cal sighed heavily.

"Didn't you?" Ethan looked at his brother. "I know you, Cal. I know what you're like. Before you know it you'll run. You always run and I'll be left to deal with this on my own like I've always done."

"Ethan, that's not true."

Ethan looked at him skeptically.

"Okay, maybe it is true. But, I promise you I'm not going to run this time. You can't push me out and I won't let you."

"We'll see how long that will last." Was all Ethan said.

With his final answer Ethan walked away from Cal leaving standing there. Cal sighed. Why couldn't his brother see he'd change? He was not the same person he was. He had changed. He had changed into the brother he should have been all those years before.

Later that evening when Cal had finished his shift he waited by reception for Ethan to finish too. However, 10 minutes waiting Cal didn't see Ethan walk through reception. He's probably gone home already, Cal thought to himself. So he headed off towards his car and drove home. Upon entering the flat he noticed it was covered in darkness and there was no sound coming from the kitchen or the living room. Thinking Ethan must have gone to bed Cal was about to head to his own bedroom when he heard sniffling coming from the sofa. It was then Cal noticed the silhouette of his brother sitting on the sofa. Even in the darkness he could see the rise and fall of his shoulders. Cal's heart broke. He knew his brother was upset.

"It's okay, Nibbles." Cal soothed as he pulled his brother against his chest. "I'm here."

"You know I didn't really meant what I said." Ethan mumbled against his brother's chest. "I was just angry and upset."

"Of course, I know you didn't mean it. But, I meant what I said. I'm going to be here for you, Eth."


End file.
